Roommates Adopt Child to Avoid 2017 On-Campus Housing Requirement
By Brick | November 12, 2014
LAU 2—Citing the injustice of the On-Campus Requirement for the sophomore class, roommates Dino Liu (SFS 17) and Michael Han (COL 17) decided to adopt a child together. Han, the individual behind this idea to exploit the loophole allowing students to live with dependents off campus stated to reporters “babies probably don’t eat much because […]
New GU Tinder to Match Students Based on Family Assets
By King Arthur Radley | November 11, 2014
GELARDIN — A new version of Tinder, Wealther, released exclusively at Georgetown matches students based on family assets. Instead of having a Facebook profile picture shown on screen, this new Wealther app has an asset profile listed on screen. The creators of the app believe this version will be “less invasive” and “promote more […]
Freshman Unsure if Floor Has Just Agreed to Ignore Thong that has been Lying in the Hallway
By Elle Lusive | November 11, 2014
NEW SOUTH — After a Saturday night that could only be described as “crazy wild” by New South 2 member Johnny Fernandez (COL ’18), his drunken hangover has transitioned to uneasy feelings about the red lace thong that has reportedly been lying in the hallway for approximately 75 hours. “My friends and I had […]
Slackers’ Grant Aims to Reward Doing Nothing All Summer
By Papa Fransisco | November 11, 2014
ICC — The latest opportunity for students looking to broaden their horizons this summer comes from Georgetown Office of Fellowships, Awards and Resources (“GOFAR”). The Slacker’s Grant will be awarded to one rising senior who plans to do absolutely nothing productive over the next summer. “We have identified a large group of students that […]
Public Safety Alert Merchant Ship Sinking in VCW
By Ed Nonymous | November 10, 2014
Dear Members of the Georgetown University Community, Please be advised that on Monday, November 10, 2014, at approximately 6:00 p.m., a student reported to the Georgetown University Police Department (GUPD) and Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) that between Sunday November 9, 2014 at 11:00 p.m and Monday, November 10, 2014 5:00 p.m. an unidentified U-Boat sank an unattended Allied merchant ship in […]
Student Excited to Read Buzzfeed in Front of Madeleine Albright Someday
By Phil Clinton | November 10, 2014
WHITE-GRAVENOR — Following pre-registration, Senior Diana Sims (SFS, ’15) says she “can’t wait” for the opportunity to read Buzzfeed during a class taught by the Distinguished Professor of Diplomacy and former Secretary of State, Madeleine K. Albright. “I’m a senior, and I’ve been trying to get into this course for a while now,” said Sims. […]
Lecture by 850-Ton Engine Cancelled after Gaston Stage Deemed “Structurally Unsound”
By Devyn | November 10, 2014
GASTON — Telling reporters that the event would be rescheduled following renovations to improve Gaston Hall Stage’s structural integrity, Lecture Fund President Georgio Perry (SFS ’15) announced Thursday that the upcoming lecture by an 850-Ton Engine is cancelled until further notice. “If Gaston can’t handle 1,700,000 lbs. of steam turbine power, then so be it,” […]
NEWS IN PICTURE: Northeast Triangle Appears to be Near Completion
By Phil Clinton | November 10, 2014
Freshman Spends 62% of First All-Nighter Telling People It’s His First All-Nighter
By Miss Terri Righter | November 10, 2014
LAU 2 — William Moore (COL ’18) sat down at a table on Lau 2 last night at 8:21pm and left this morning at 9:02am in what he decreed was his “first all-nighter”, via his personal Twitter account. Moore’s roommate reports that the assignment in question was a 15-20 page paper for his Introduction to Biblical […]