A harsh midterm season on the Hilltop has left many students grappling with the big questions in life: “Is a Fr. Carnes lecture really worth $56,000 in tuition?” “Would norovirus really be that bad if I could get an extension on my history paper?” “What if I don’t want to work in consulting or investment […]

It’s the shittiest part of the week again: It’s fish day at Leo’s! I’m absolutely devastated, but fortunately, I’m not alone. Here are twelve ways that Georgetown students mourn the arrival of the only day which might be worse than Monday. 1. Loss of bladder control – Okay, there’s no way I’m the only one. […]

The November slump is hitting campus pretty hard right now, so it’s really important that students on this campus celebrate whatever wins they can. For econ major Brad Thomas (COL ‘24), his lunch today represented that win. Brad typically picks up a sushi roll from Vittles two or three times a week for a quick, […]

It can be so frustrating not knowing whether you are the Inanna or the Ishtar of your friend group. Doesn’t it always feel like your BFF’s know exactly which one they are? Is your BFF clearly an Inanna and you want to know if you are compatible? Are you tired of being rejected by the […]

After a failed presidential campaign and upset defeat in New York City, Andrew Yang may have suffered his most embarrassing loss right here on the Hilltop. After GUSA election results were released late Saturday night, many Yang Gang supporters were shocked to find that Mr. Yang did not crack the threshold to win a first-year […]

Have you ever sat down and thought to yourself – hm, the world has a little too much peace! Have you been nodding in agreement at the recent uptick in students discussing how to best militarize the Arctic, or praising Vladimir Putin, or strolling through Leo’s flanked by bodyguards? Do you long for the good […]

It was a fateful day when Jake (MSB ‘24) (the Jake to your left), found out that the US is one of the only countries in the world without any federal maternity leave. Apparently, that’s all it took for Jake to shut his mouth and finally ponder the state of women in America. “I always […]

Rough. Rugged. Masculine. Marlboro Man. I know exactly what image these words conjure in your mind: me studying in Lau 2 on a Friday night. But our library has been sissified by the cowards in administration. Appeals to liberal nonsense like “secondhand smoke” and “obnoxious odor disrupting other students” are being used to deny me […]

People (Michael Barbaro) keep saying Washington is more polarized than ever. What is the reason for this divide, you might ask? Answer: the psychosocial division between its college students, or what sociologists are calling the “Hilltop and Foggybottom Divide.” Take the quiz below to find out which side of the aisle you stand on! 1. […]

It was insane. One minute Ryan (my roommate, Ryan Nurble, MSB ‘25) was passed out, unresponsive even to the Burnett’s I wafted under his nose and the kick I gave him to the balls. The next minute, he was awake, coherent, and in a great mood! Claire, Peyton, and Maddie, if you’re reading this, I […]