An excerpt from the journal of Franz Kafka: Some of the thoughts in my head have… I don’t know… a nightmarish, complex, bizarre, or illogical quality. Boy do I wish there were a word I could use to convey that state of mind to others! Life, it gets very bureaucratic sometimes. Sometimes things don’t make […]

Animal Farm by George Orwell is a mind-bending parable that makes the reader think about issues that go far deeper than a cursory reading of the novel’s text might suggest. While initially unclear, by the end of the novel the allegorical nature of Orwell’s phenomenal work of fiction is revealed. Although it took me longer […]

From the Office of the President, John J. DeGioia Dear Members of the Georgetown University Community, As we return to in-person learning this Fall, many of you have doubtless noticed that quite a few things have changed here on the Hilltop since last we met. You may also be wondering, given the skyrocketing cost of […]

In what is expected to become an annual tradition from here on out, a joint announcement was made by the United Nations, Joe Biden, Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un, the EU, the legislative and executive branches of every national government, Elon Musk, al-Qaeda, Major League Baseball, Big Tech, Big Pharma, Big Geology, ISIS, […]

GEORGETOWN — Associate Professor Charles Mulvicky has come under fire recently for his zero-tolerance policy towards late work. The Heckler was able to reach Professor Mulvicky for comment in his office in New North. “Turning in your work late is disrespectful to me, and to all of your classmates who got their work done on […]

NAVY YARD – Georgetown has granted the Class of 2021 the opportunity to celebrate graduation together. The only catch: the powers that be have mandated that graduation take place in Nationals Park, which is, tragically, a baseball thing. Now, there are some notable pros for Nats Park as a graduation venue. There’s the prospect of […]

We see you’re trying to log into your account, so we’ve created this new Captcha quiz to test whether or not you’re a robot! Please answer these five questions about whether this is Vanessa Hudgens, a van of pigeons, or vanilla hummus to prove that you’re not a robot. Question 1: Vanessa Hudgens, van of […]

Hear ye, hear ye! We, The Board of Directors of The Georgetown Heckler (who?!), are happy to announce that we have officially decided to expand our business into the storage realm (what??).  Given the ever-present need amongst the Georgetown student body for summer storage, The Heckler has decided to convert our offices into make-shift storage […]

SOUP LOVERS BEWARE: Soup is, indeed, after much deliberation, gross. The Heckler advises you to stay away until further notice. The age-old debate of “Soup or Salad” has long weighed heavy on the common man. Whether it be miso, chicken, or minestrone, soup is a wet sloppy mess that should only be enjoyed by those […]

It is a brilliant blue morning after the evening before the evening before Thursday morning in Yellow Springs, Ohio, where an excited citizenry is putting the last touches on the set of their production of the One Year Anniversary of the Ten Year Anniversary of the Twenty-five Year Anniversary of the Original 1985 West End […]