Village B – Students were recently evicted from their top floor apartments after Vil B roof began to sulk about how hard its week had been. “I have three midterms this week and a load of homework, I just don’t know if I can keep it up,” it commented. Vil B’s residents claim to have […]

When Haley Joel Osment delivered the performance of a lifetime in the 1999 classic,The Sixth Sense, he rightfully assumed that people would be sufficiently impressed to actually show some gratitude for his work 19 years into the future. Disgracefully, that is not so. During the Oscars on Sunday, not a single person thanked Osment for his […]

    Green Book   The cool thing about Green Book was that my wife Jeanine and I got to watch the entire movie without interruption from our deranged neighbor. Honestly, throughout the film’s entire 2 hour 10 minute run-time our neighbor didn’t even make it to our front yard. Did I hear his blood-curdling […]

I’m all about nostalgia. The classics. I love Tamagotchi and Dunk-a-roos. Flintstones gummy vitamins. Driving around and looking at Christmas lights with my family. And reading books, not just watching the movie.   I read every Harry Potter book. I didn’t just, “watch the movies,” like all of the other kids did. I want to […]

In what should be disturbing news for all red-blooded patriots at Georgetown University, the investigative journalism division of The Heckler recently uncovered damning evidence that the repressive regime of The Caravel is currently using their office to hide weapons of mass destruction.   Don’t believe us? Well, just look at the rock-solid evidence:   For […]

THE KITCHEN – Looks like Dad is at it again. According to trusted sources, including Sister, who was just downstairs, and this vent in the hall that kinda lets me hear what’s going on in the kitchen, Dad has successfully cornered the Renovation Man and now they’re talkin’ shop.   The Renovation Man arrived not […]

  If you don’t have any plans this Valentine’s Day, we could go out to dinner if you want? I went to this cool falafel place one time and—if you don’t have any dinner plans already or anything—maybe we could check that out? They have pretty good pita, too, if you’re into that kind of […]

  WALSH 394 – It is nearly half way through the semester, and students taking Father Roth’s Biblical Literature class have started to notice that the professor is just teaching directly from the Book. Father Joseph Roth, S.J., a respected scholar in his field, has been teaching the class ever since he came to Georgetown […]

BARCELONA? – Last we heard from Lionel Messi things seemed to be ship-shape and, although we here at The Heckler understand that everything is subject to change, we have received no information since that has led us to believe otherwise. So we are just going to assume, cautiously, mind you, that the Argentine Ace is […]