VILLAGE A – As campaign season kicks off around campus, GUSA political strategists are hard at work, crunching the numbers on which key demographic will turn the tide in favor of their candidate. Some campaigns are headed to Yates, in an attempt to corner the athlete vote, while others focus on yet-to-be-disillusioned freshman demographic. Will […]

  HENLE — As part of their mission to prepare its members for leadership through service, the co-ed fraternity Alpha Phi Omega will serve the Georgetown community by hosting lots of parties.   “I find it very fulfilling to be able to hand out dozens of handles of Burnetts,” remarked Joel Young (COL ’16), a […]

WHITE-GRAVENOR — In an attempt to create a more intimate campus climate “where everybody knows your name,” Georgetown’s Office of Undergraduate Admissions (GOUA) recently announced that the Class of 2019 will consist solely of the season four starring cast of Cheers.   According to GOUA records, six individuals were admitted to the Class of 2019, […]

Seth Rogen’s comedy about annihilating the homosexual scourge is an instant classic!     I tend not to be a fan of that Seth Rogen fellow, with his slacker attitude and his obsession with substance abuse. Yet I was very surprised to hear that he finally created a film with a positive message – namely, […]

GOOCHLAND — Citing a need to “reclaim their managerial reputation,” the Goochland United Soccer Association announced Tuesday that they will sue the Georgetown University Student Association for the rights to the highly coveted “GUSA” acronym.   Goochland, a small town outside of Richmond, Virginia, and the home of the Goochland United Soccer Association, has a […]

HENLE – A writer for the Georgetown Heckler was seen attempting to gain popularity by advertising his position as a writer at various parties and social events.   While in attendance at fraternity party last Friday night, bystanders report that this writer asked everyone what organizations they were in, and then fervently waited for them […]

LEAVEY CENTER – As GUSA election season approaches, juniors preparing their runs for office have begun to separate themselves from the current GUSA leadership: Trevor Tezel and Omika Jikaria. However, because few people are actually informed of GUSA activities, candidates have to go to great lengths to separate themselves from the incumbents.   In one […]

  LEAVEY CENTER– The Georgetown University Student Association (GUSA) released a statement this week saying that this year’s GUSA presidential campaign will be streamlined by allowing anyone who cares even a little to just vote now.   “Technically the election isn’t until late February,” said GUSA Press Secretary T.J. Potter (COL ’16). “However, this initiative will […]