Foiled again! My associates and I here at the agency have spent many, many years trying to figure out how to “take him out,” him being the devious criminal known to us all as Chunky. Though I have no evidence, I just KNOW that he is plotting the downfall of America, and after that will […]

I’m so sick of all this false advertising. I joined Hoya Snaps to bring Eight to the Bar on a Boogie-Woogie piano. I wanted to show I’m a real finger zinger on the brass and I got the chops to play with the cool cats. But no. “Hoya Snaps” has nothing to do with jazz. […]

Dear students,  It is I ––Associate Vice President, University Registrar, and the real mover and shaker of Georgetown admin – Annamarie Bianco. We live in incomprehensible times, so of course, it was essential to ensure that our class registration system is equally as incomprehensible. To celebrate the first day of undergraduate registration and the thirst […]

You’re getting noticed, LinkedIn Member! Your profile appeared in search results 6 times between March 30 and April 6. Way to go! Did you know that millions of members use Premium, including people in your network? Even though you aren’t a Premium member, let’s find out who’s viewed your profile and why.  Large Financial Institution […]

As the Heckler’s chief sports reporter, I have covered numerous sporting events spanning a decades-long body of work. This year was my first covering the Masters, and I must admit that I found the atmosphere stifling. The dress code, noise, and distance restrictions were onerous and as a result I was asked to leave on […]

It’s that time of year again! Sportscenter’s “Top 10” is about to include more slacks and walking than usual. Your acquaintances who’ve kept a good relationship with their father may start lecturing you on the merits of cracks of bats and fresh-cut grass. And our elderly and white ‘n’ scrawny communities, specifically those located in […]

GEORGETOWN – There was much outrage and ridicule from the Georgetown student body this past week, in response to an infographic published by CAPS that advised students to cope with their stress, depression, and anxiety by simply “STOPping” and proceeding with their day. Students roundly criticized this post, saying that it belittled their experiences with […]

¡Hola! Pues, esto es un cambio de aire apreciado. Este titular (y artículo (!)), están en español. ¿Por qué? ¡Por qué no!  Normalmente, nuestros artículos están escritos en inglés, pero creo que necesitamos incluir más contenido plurilingüe. ¿Sabía que hay escritores hispanohablantes en el Heckler?  Eso es todo. Solamente quería expresar este mensaje importante. Le […]

PENTAGON CITY, VA — Every year, the ridiculously shaped and aptly named Department of Defense headquarters draws tens of confused tourists looking for the Pentagon City Mall and dozens of military-industrial complex hopefuls to its spooky doors. No visitor was quite so moved as an unidentified man this Thursday who caused quite the ruckus.  “WTF! […]

SPOILER ALERT – Well folks, it finally happened. After years of coordinated social media campaigns, nerd rage has actually accomplished something. Streaming now on HBO Max, you can witness director Zack Snyder’s true, unfiltered vision of what 2017’s Justice League movie should have been, before the studio and Joss Whedon came in and ruined everything. […]