After the short-lived chaos of move-in day, you may feel that there isn’t much in the way of sightseeing on Georgetown’s campus, but you’d be wrong. The Heckler would like to remind you that – every year – hundreds of insecure freshmen arrive on campus wearing truly ridiculous and gawk-worthy outfits. They say that “this […]

Ever since your mother had her first bite of a Trader Joe’s pumpkin samosa, her life and yours have not been the same. It’s so sad that your mother, who took care of you until you left for college, is so preoccupied by Trader Joe’s pumpkin flavoured foods that she no longer picks up the […]

This semester, GPB has officially offered a pinky promise to all students that they will host a single event that can be deemed “thoroughly enjoyable” by even a single student. The bold claim comes after general disappointed acceptance regarding the organization’s role on campus in past semesters. “We weally weally pwomise dat we will do […]

Midway through his daily run last Thursday, Brady (MSB ‘24) came to a startling realization: every monument he’d passed had depicted a man. Confused, he began to look for public displays dedicated to women as he ran back to campus. “I was sure I saw one at the Vietnam War memorial,” he told reporters, “But […]

The distress call came in at 11:47pm. An attempted robbery on Prospect and 36th.  GUPD officers Gump and Gumbo blitzed to the scene at a leisurely pace. The crime was still unfolding as they arrived—a masked assailant attempting to wrest a handbag from a panicked student.  “Woah woah woah, hold it right there mister,” officer […]

As Georgetown’s class of 2026 begins to find their home on campus, first-year students have had to meet the challenges of independent living for the first time. Without doting caretakers ready to listen to and accommodate their child’s every qualm, new students have yearned for another outlet to vent their frustrations to. The campus Department […]

Ok, here it is! The Hoya application link. You can click it if you want. It’s just a Google Form, this should be easy! Get to muckraking! Threaten to sue people! Read the paper! https://forms.gle/yKNQhk2hZbk9hqdH8

Blimey! So the queen has finally kicked the bucket. Before you light a candle in your window (or break out your celebratory tea and crumpets), there’s one question you’ve got to answer: How are you going to make this groundbreaking, worldwide, historic event about you? If you want to be sad: make sure to post […]

This week, Lea Michele will officially replace Beanie Feldstein in the role of Fanny Brice in the 2022 revival of Funny Girl. After several months of snobbish reviews of Feldstein’s performance, looks, and her singing voice, Feldstein left the run weeks early. The producers, who were rumored to have forced Feldstein to quit, quickly redesigned […]

Once a Hoya, always a Hoya.  After many autumns of successful New Student Orientation (NSO) programs, Georgetown’s Orientation, Transition & Family Engagement Team will finally give older Hoyas an equally invigorating experience through OSO: Old Student Orientation. Rather than being oriented with the campus and Georgetown’s academic system, alumni aged 65 years and older will […]